The insistent ring of my cell phone dragged me out of my sleep. As my hands groped about in the dark for my phone, my body still refusing to budge from its stance of sleep, I unconsciously glanced at the time. The fluorescent dial on the clock said 2:43 am. As my fingers finally wrapped around the phone on the bedside table, after what seemed like a lifetime, I was ready to kill the murderer of my sleep.
As ‘mom’ displayed in red across her exuberant photo from ages ago, for a second I missed the way she used to smile; the way her dimples created whirlpools on her cheek, the lines that formed at the corner of her eyes and the way her eyebrows tried to reach out across one another. With a lump in my throat and rising panic, I quickly picked up the call.
“Mom! Is everything…”
“Monu, I can’t find it anywhere.” From her barely audible voice, and the strain that lingered, I realised that she was crying, again.
“I woke up all of a sudden, and it wasn’t there anymore.I…I looked everywhere. I stripped the bed, tore open the pillow case. Is it cause that wretched maid washed the sheets again? I told her a million times not to.”
“Mom. What are you…”
“I looked in the wardrobe too. I rummaged through the clothes and felt every wrinkle and straightened each fold. I checked the drawers, again and again. I searched the photos, carefully running my hand through every smile and every moment captured and frozen in time. I searched his specs, his phone, his wallet, his sandals. I can’t find it anywhere,” she started sobbing uncontrollably.
“Mom, listen to me. Calm down. Tell me what’s going on.”
In between sobs, she continued hysterically, “The books that he used to love so much, it’s not in there too. I checked every page of every book in every single cupboard. I can’t find…”
“Mom?”
“…it anywhere. I have lost it, monu. I must’ve done something wrong. I must’ve misplaced something. I…”
“MOM!!!”, I couldn’t help raising my voice. “What are you talking about? What the hell did you lose?”
Silence suddenly crept in between us. I could hear the clock ticking and the multitude of insects keenly listening in on our conversation.
Composing herself, with the utmost care so as to not hurt the silence, with such calmness that bordered on being scary, her voice again reached out to me. “The smell. His…smell, monu. I can’t remember how your dad used to smell anymore.”
PS: Sahuui is a Korean word which means after death.
PC: pinterest
Cool yet indulging…
Keep it up😊
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Thank you so much❤
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Ur welcome 😇
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That’s sad. I imagine that’s true, too – forgetting that particular smell.
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Yea I feel so too. I haven’t lost anyone that close to me. So I can only imagine what people go through, n what they miss. N I guess smell must be a part of that too.
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I do remember a woman at the hospice telling me when her son died she would go into his wardrobe and just smell his clothes. That made me sad too.
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Gosh that’s really sad.
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Absolutely we miss the smell. We miss the quiet sigh they make when they’re comfortable in a chair. Everything changes, even music. Every song is a dirge.
My younger brother loved Mickey Mouse but now I can’t stand the sight of the rat. It’s as if the rat betrayed me or something. Ah, and the violin. I used to love it but since he played, my brother, the sound of it rips me apart.
The story gripped me because it’s written in a way that anyone who has lost someone very special can relate.
Well done.
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I’m honored to know that you could relate to my words. I’m so sorry for your loss, let’s believe that he is happy where ever he is.
Maybe, you can love the things he used to love, and remember his happiness when he embraced those 🙂
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Absolutely brilliant. ❤️
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Thank you so much❤
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The quote is true. It took years for me to stop picking up the phone and almost calling my Mother. I’ve adapted tho. I now see her in her favorite flower, her favorite color, along with her favorite smell.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I really hope you are doing better now.
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Thank you! Yes. 😊
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That’s a very touching story and simply amazing. A story readers can really feel, what a great write. Wonderful! 🌹🌹
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Means a lot❤
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You are so very welcome. It was a beautiful read. 💞
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Awesome…!!!!
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Thank you so much❤
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That’s so vivid
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Thank you!❤
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Thanks for signing up to follow my blog on diet, exercise and living past 100. I am enjoying my visit to your little corner of the blogosphere. Liked what you did here. Very nice. Grief is most difficult to deal with and takes a different form with each of us. Keep up the good work!
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Thank you so much! ❤
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Haunting.
Also heartbreaking!
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It’s a great compliment to know that my words could convey the emotions I intended. Thank you 🙂 ❤
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Such a moving piece! You really captured the panic well. You are right. It is the missing afterward that is what is hard to deal with. My wife related coming downstairs for over a week after her late husband passed and saying “Good Morning”. Kudos!
Thanks so much for following me! i am following you now too!
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Thank you so much. It’s really a blessing when people tell me that they could relate to what I wrote.
You are welcome, you have a lovely blog 🙂
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Yes, so true! It is nice to have 3rd party affirmations. And You have mine! You have a wonderful piece!
Thank You for the kind comment on my blog! My words love the visits!!
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Thank you so much❤
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Sad, touchy, emotional and a honest one. Missing our loved ones is terrifying and at the same time hanging on to their memories makes it more painful.
Their aura, smell and their habits, their choices all sticks with us till we are ready to let it go.
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Yea exactly. Honestly, not having any experience with the loss of someone close to me, I am really scared about the effects it may have on me. The pain of holding on and not being able to let go.
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Yeah even a thought of loosing someone whom we love is so painful. Wish you the best and keep on writing.
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Thank you❤
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A very engaging story. Well written! My dad passed away 14 years ago, but when I do a certain thing the same way he did, always remind me of him. Thank you for your follow so that I can find you!
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I guess in a way death can never exactly take them away, their presence is always there; in our memories, in everything we do.
And thank you, dear❤
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Yes, I always remember him in a special way!
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I particularly liked how you created the hysteria of the mother, her panic at losing his scent, I can well imagine how disturbing that would be. Great piece of writing.
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Thank you so much Michael, means a lot❤
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Thank you for the follow Reethu. I am pleased for the connection and look forward to reading more of your blog.
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You’re welcome, and thank you for stopping by❤
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So heartbreaking!! Very well written!!
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Thank you so much! ❤
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great use of smell 🙂
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Thank you!❤
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Hey, I have nominated you in the blue sky tag award. Please do write
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Awww thank you so much Kaneez❤
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Heartbreaking and heartwarming!
I liked your way of story-telling as well; it was engaging, Reethu. 🙂
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Thank you so much! ❤
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Really an emotional post!!!!I have nominated you for the Unique blogger Award.Please check it here:
https://manju571.wordpress.com/2017/07/29/unique-blogger-award/ 🙂
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Thank you so much! Means a lot! ❤
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nice writeup… plz do follow my site..if you like it.
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Thank you! I will surely check your site out 🙂
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Wow, that was poignant and beautiful.Never stop writing dear, for you have a talent, a talent to make people feel things through your words. Eagerly waiting for your next piece😊
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Thank you so much. Means a lot! 🙂
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